My dog is gay.
That surge of 1001 gay pet jokes you're having right now, keep it to yourselves. Trust me, I had a 1002 the moment I saw a penis on the dog he was fucking.
I know it's Christmas and all, but I swear, that was my week's highlight,
I wish I could talk more about the holidays, but it's really never been my season.
Your good TV shows are put on hiatus for 15 different versions of A Christmas Carol and Home Alone re-runs, and then you get bombarded with scented candles as Christmas presents.
Really, people. Candles? You know we've got electricity, right? Nobody uses scented candles. Heck, there's always a can of Baygon in my bedroom to cover up my stink, and smelling like vanilla, cinnamon, or whatever cavity forming scent/flavor you put in wax, it doesn't make me feel sexy.
--- It makes me feel fat and makes me feel the need to brush my teeth... and hygiene should be the last thing on anybody's mind, should you ever want them to put out.
Speaking of hygiene, for the first time ever, I got myself a manicure and a pedicure... and it was torture. I don't know how you girls can stand it, but I hated sitting there for an hour while listening to my nails getting filed and watching some woman scrape the cheese under my nails. Eeeehh.
I don't know how else to make this entry more awkward, so...
... Merry Christmas, y'all, and I want another iPod.
Comments (1)
I'm a dude & I like getting pedicures. Nothing like getting rid of the dirt & grit under your toenails because those fuckers stink like hell. You should get pedicures more often.